In case you missed it

This article is from the very first issue of Hip Marry magazine and just in case you missed it, here it is, in all it's glory!

Tips for the first time bride

I got married last year, for the second time, and I did a lot of things differently.  This time around me and my groom paid for everything ourselves, partially because it was only fair, we had both done this before and partially because we wanted total control.  Not everyone has that luxury, and believe me, we only did because our total guest count was 35!  I’ve compiled a few tips for the first time bride, or the second, to help make your day the best ever!

1.  Don’t forget your groom.

I know, I know, they all say that they don’t care or that it’s all up to you, but really they care, I promise.  He might not have a preference on the flowers or what type of gown you wear, but he cares about something.  Give him complete control over one thing, whether it be the food, the Web site, I’ll get to that later, or the Honeymoon but give him something.  This is his day, too and it will help him enjoy it more.

2.  You get what you pay for.

I’m not just saying this on behalf of all of my friends that are in the wedding business, I’m saying it for you!  Let me clarify, I not saying that the most expensive is always the best, I’m just saying that if you go with a bargain, there might be a reason.  Practice makes perfect and that applies to all things wedding, if you’re getting someone that is new to the business, they might charge you less but they might not know what to do when disaster strikes.  Do your research and know what is the most important to you.

3.  Don’t get a facial, spray tan or a brand new hair color right before the big day.

I know that you want to pamper yourself, and you should, but you need to know how your skin is going to react to a new product or procedure before risking your wedding day skin on it.  Same thing with a spray tan, try it out a minimum of a month before, that way you have time to make adjustments and you know that you won’t look unnatural or smudged for your pictures.  If you decide that you want to try a new hair color, please wait until after, but if you insist, at least go see a professional.  They can be sure that your red doesn’t look pink or that your rich brunette isn’t too ashy.

4.  Don’t forget to eat.

I know that every article like this that you read says this, so it has to be important, right?  At the least, ask if the salon that you and your wedding party will be patronizing offers refreshments, if not make sure that someone, your mother, maid of honor or just someone wanting to help, gets you something.  Not only is it important to eat before but I would put money on the fact that you’ll be hungry after the reception.  Have someone pack up a couple of plates and sent them to your hotel room so that you and your husband can finally have a quiet moment together and be nourished and ready for your honeymoon.

5.  Assign a “wing man”

Everything on your wedding day is about you and your new husband but it’s still important to give people specific responsibilities.  Something as simple as you wanting a Diet Coke can get lost in the shuffle if you don’t know who you’re talking to.  Find your most assertive bridesmaid, family member or friend and help them help you.  They can meet the florist and the baker with deliveries and payments, they can make everyone leave the room when you need a moment alone and they can get you that Diet Coke!

6.  Watch out for service charges.

When it comes to your wedding vendors be sure to ask about tips and service charges.  Some caterers include them in their prices and some tack it on after the fact.  Same thing with your hair and makeup, in most cases, while it is courteous to tip, it is not required, but be sure to ask, just in case.

7.  Look like yourself, only better.

I get a lot of questions about makeup on your wedding and since I don’t actually do makeup the best that I can tell you is to be yourself, only better.  More doesn’t mean better and above all else, you want to be comfortable.  I know women that don’t even own makeup and I know some that won’t even take out the trash without a full face of concealer, foundation, powder and everything else.  What I advise is that you take your everyday routine and turn it up one notch or two if you’re doing a very formal wedding.  If you normally don’t wear anything stick with a little concealer, some loose powder and neutral eyeshadow and some mascara.  If you’re more used to wearing makeup, just kick it up a notch to really complete your look.  When in doubt, hire a professional, they always know what is best!

8.  Don’t sweat the small stuff

The average engagement is 15 months according to theweddingreport.com and that means that you have 15 months to make up and change your mind.  You have all that time to argue with your mother about your dress and your best friend about how you want her to wear her hair but the bottom line is that at the end of all that planning, arguing and decision making you become a wife.  It might only be a piece of paper but it means a lot  and can change the dynamic of your relationship over night.  Always keep in mind that it’s not just a party and no matter what happens that day, you’ll be married at the end of it.  If you keep your eye on the prize and trust your decisions and the vendors that you hired, your wedding day is a day to relax and enjoy what you have created and your new husband.

9.  Create a wedding Web site.

There are plenty of options out there, some free and some paid, but all you can customize to fit your style and your wedding.  It’s a great way to keep in touch with your out of town guests, a simple way for all your guests to RSVP with their meal choices and even a place for them to request a song at the reception.  I know that there might be some friends and relatives that are not so computer savvy, and be sure not to leave them out, but with most of us being so “connected” these days it’s a great way to make your wedding simple.  Link a map to the ceremony location and share some engagement picture without the added costs of printing and mailing.  Check out theknot.com, ewedding.com and mywedding.com for a few options.

10.  Changing your name

Since I just did this last year in Indiana I can tell you from experience that you must change your name with the Social Security office first, by providing your marriage certificate, and then wait at least 24 hours to go to the license branch to get a new driver’s license.  I would say that it is safe to assume this is true for Illinois as well, but to be sure, ask someone in the know.  As far as everything else, banks accounts, credit cards, insurance and the like, sometimes you must submit a copy of your marriage certificate and sometimes they take your word for it.  One very important thing to remember is that if you’re flying to your honeymoon destination, be sure to book your ticket in your maiden name.  It’s so easy to get caught up in the excitement of your new name but it needs to match your ID or you can’t fly!